Aug 2

(Source: best-of-memes)

(Source: nicconoh)


the more sexual and inappropriate you are with me the better we’ll get along

(Source: darrenstummy-moved)

Jul 7

(Source: let-faith-decide)

Jul 7

The Seven Shittiest Sins

  • Greed: I want shit
  • Envy: I want your shit
  • Wrath: I'm going to wreck your shit
  • Lust: I'm into some freaky shit
  • Gluttony: This is some tasty shit
  • Sloth: I don't feel like doing shit
  • Pride: I am the shit
Jul 6

save me obi wan 


save me obi wan 

(Source: cute-overload)



An owl gets inside the house. The Owl Whisperer™ tries to get it back outside again. x

The first 5 seconds are the best!


(Source: bullet-fuzz)

(Source: stridesthebehemoth)

(Source: gleeandgleek)

Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too
Say Anything

(Source: missmagrathea)

High five my tongue with your tongue

(Source: christianmingle)


baby, i don’t care about your stomach

or your legs

or how big your boobs are

i don’t care about you at all

leave me alone

Before Technology

When I was a boy, I was in love. To my present self it wasn’t more then deep infatuation or crush, but at the time, for me, this was love. Being in elementary/ junior high I naturally elected to become the best friend. This title when dealing with the opposite sex is an honored and timeless tradition were scared little boys can accompany the said crush without the fear of being rejected. How unwittingly i tormented myself when all i needed was nothing less than sheer confidence. This girl however, (boy wat-a-doozie) she made me feel such ways as I had never felt before.When ever she was around my stomach would feel tight and light as if her very presence was lifting my lungs into my throat. The anxiety was horrendous. And God forbid she ever touch me….the stress of feelings, emotions, and worry would rush to the back of my head. A million thoughts going along the lines of; does she like me, should i tell her, am i imagining this, is it real? And as the outside world paused while my brain zoomed passed every romantic book/movie I had seen, perhaps in one millisecond, the hand would be lifted and the pace of the word would be back to normal. Yes this plagued me, not just days or months, but years. Did I ever tell her how i really felt? I was nerdy, with glasses and communicating to anybody about how i felt was beyond my years and understanding. The lack of technology I possessed at the time made for poor communication as well. I remember family vacations, with long car rides home listening to “flavor of the week” on my walkman starin at the starry dark night skies wondering if i was even a thought in her pretty little head. Like I said given the pre-cell phone era, all I had was my imagination and the hope next year would be different. This year, i’d tell her. Did I ever really tell her? Oddly enough to give a little reasoning to my delusion. It didn’t help that one summer halfway around the world in a remote airport, I being thousands of miles away from California, Whittier the classroom of Plymouth Christian and my grades 24 students, who should I happen to see. Well naturally once i saw her I thought “this is the love of my life.” (Btw I must emphasize this is PRE-TECHNOLOGY PEOPLE!!!!) Naturally I tried to play it off cool, I thought this was my chance to show I’m a” bad boy.” I proceeded to stupidly eat a burger in front of her without offering her any and too nervous to promote any real conversation probably just came off as a rude ass. My 11 year old self though thought “nailed it.” Did I ever tell her? At the end of that year I remember the last day clearly. We were all at the park and somehow truth or dare was being played I’m fussy on the details. In that moment my worst fear had finally come to fruition. After a year of dodging questions, strategically planning bat shit crazy things that probably ended up making me seem more strange. The million dollar question was asked of me “who do you like?” My heart pounded, I immediately dodge the question. Boom! Whole class was there, crap couldn’t get out of it. Tried another futile attempt at explaining how i was too busy. (Worst excuse btw, we were at the park on a field trip to have fun.)I’m really fucked now. They also decided to up the ante, they would now throw in a piece of candy for this truth. At this point I’m split, I wanted this girl to know but I thought theres no way in hell she’d like me. How do i save face, let what I want to say out but give these vulchers what they want and gain my candy. Suddenly it hit me, I finally replied with a safeguard answer “well what if i ‘liked’ someone but i don’t anymore.” As I saw the acceptance on there face I knew my strategy was working. I then let out who my crush was and made it clear that yes I had liked her most of the year, but today I would deny it up and down. The class proceeded to run to the poor girl who was honestly probably my only real friend at that point and gave her the latest gossip about the class. That I Matthew Cardona had a crush on her. She naturally confronts me. It is at this point that my memory again gets hazy because only the conversation haunts me. I am not sure who was there but I remember her being there and that should have been enough. She asked me in a way I would have never imagined. She asked in a curiously puzzled, most sincere way, in fact she was probably a little nervous. I was so scared shitless that she had found out and actually confronted me I hadn’t really taken into account her approach. I again resorted to my callous stupidity and went for the “badboy” gimmick. I steadily put my lollipop in my mouth, and said “yeah its true, i did like you, but I don’t anymore.” Her next look was shocking to me. It was more of a let down, than disappointment. She walked away and for the next ten plus years I’ve thought about that moment every now and again. Did she really care if I liked her? I dont know, but I did know two things. I was sorry I ever denied something that I felt in front of anyone and that I wasn’t willing to take the risk to set aside my pride for someone that I supposedly loved. I had sold my feelings and someones love for a lollypop and less ridicule. The person I had thought of for a year, that I tormented myself to be around. I brushed aside because of momentary angst. The foolishness of my decision has lived with me all these years. As silly as this sounds, it’s taught me to stand up for how I feel and for those I love because that regret of selling out never leaves no matter how old you are. That girl probably doesn’t remember or frankly care about one of the most pinnacle character building moments of my life but I’d like to say, I’m sorry, and thank her for a valuable lesson that I have never forgot.

so hot/cute 0,o

in like i hope shes over 18 sorta way

(Source: voldermorte)